The Toddfather ft. Dave Duncan

Baseball Hall of Fame voting is perhaps one of the most argued subjects in sports. First off, a players’ induction to the Hall depends on the wills of a closely knit group of sports writers; the kind of people who hold grudges. As if things weren’t frustrating enough for players like Jim Rice and Andre Dawson. Not only are their accomplishments scrutinized by a troop of Journalism majors who probably have only held a bat during a photo shoot, they also don’t play fair. I worked with the sports writers at my college. The extent of their Sports and Recreation expertise didn’t go past cross country and co-ed slow pitch softball behind Centennial Hall.

Fortunately there are candidates that present an undeniable resume not even Bill Simmons can keep out (although he’d probably be too busy writing 2,500 words about the thread count on the Celtics’ jerseys to try).

One such candidate, when he decides to retire, is Cardinals pitching coach Dave Duncan. Now I’m sure we can get Generic ESPN Analyst X to spew about “peeling back the onion”, or “his body of work”, but we don’t need to go that far. Coach Duncan could get a job on any team or into the Hall of Fame with this resume below:

Name: Dave Duncan

Current Employer: St. Louis Cardinals

Past Experience: Todd Wellemeyer

End

He could show up to the interview drinking a glass of Jameson Old Crow and have his resume written on a bar napkin and still land the job. I’m amazed that he wasn’t tapped to draw up the health care bill. Dave Duncan made Todd Wellemeyer a slightly above average MLB pitcher for 2+ years. Fixing the United States health care system is like learning the chords to Free Falling compared to solving Wellemeyer. Some may forget that The Toddfather was cut by the Kansas City Royals prior to reaching the Cardinals. Being cut from the Royals is like the NFL, NHL and NBA equivalent of being cut by the Kansas City Royals.

But for those on the fence when it comes to the subject of miracles, I bring to your attention Todd’s 2008 season:

W   L   ERA   IP      H      R   ER   HR   BB   K    WHIP

13   9   3.71   191   178   84   79    25   62   134   1.25

Todd also sported a 3.11 ERA in 63.2 innings after coming over from the Royals in 2007. I mean, Dave Duncan might not be able to save us from Kate Gosselin but I’m sure he could teach her how to throw a two-seamer.

Todd Wellemeyer has since reverted back to his “why do people keep giving me a Major League contract?” ways. But Dave Duncan has shown us that even if you have a 6’3” barrel of rotten bananas, you can at least make a decent batch of banana bread. I hope the HOF voting committee feels the same.

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