1st half fantasy turds

This lineup probably looked pretty good after your draft in March.  But man, have these guys really dropped a deuce on your 2010 championship hopes.  Without further adieu, here are your first half fantasy turds, with a buy, sell, or hold recommendation (like you care what I think).

If it makes you feel better, I'll take you fishing. . . in Cabo.

C – Joe Mauer: This time last year, Mauer’s name was already being engraved on the MVP trophy, sporting a line of .373 / 49 r / 15 hr / 49 rbi.  This year, he only has 2 more home runs than sideburns, with a line of .293 / 47 r / 4 hr / 35 rbi.  Not bad for catcher, but not good for a 1st or 2nd round draft pick.  I can’t say I feel totally sorry for Mauer owners, as last year looked to be more the exception than the rule.  Hold

1B – Prince Fielder: Fielder is not a total lost cause, considering his 20 home runs are 5th most in the NL.  But I think it’s safe to say owners expected more than his 39 rbi and .265 average at the break, while last year at this time he was sitting at .315 / 58 r / 22 hr / 78 rbi.  And, in case you needed further proof that vegetarians are odd, Prince’s average season in odd numbered years .293 / 106 r / 48 hr / 130 rbi.  In even numbered years it’s .270 / 88 r /33 hr / 84 rbi.  Take note for next year.  Buy

2B – Aaron Hill: I don’t think anyone expected Hill to repeat his numbers from last year, but I’m sure no one expected him to turn into Bobby Hill.  Last year at the break the Blue Jays 2nd sacker was at .292 / 52 r / 20 hr / 60 rbi compared to .189 / 33 r / 12 hr / 33 rbi this year, as he’s playing limbo with the Mendoza LineSell

2009 Sandoval vs. 2010 Sandoval

3B – Pablo Sandoval: It’s funny how when you’re at the mid way point hitting .333 / 41 r / 15 hr / 55 rbi, you’re the pleasantly plump and lovable Kung-Fu Panda.  But when you’re carrying these numbers at the break .263 / 42 r / 6 hr / 34 rbi, you suddenly become overweight and out of shape.  Sell

SS – Yunel Escobar: Shortstop is a top-heavy position, so those who were able to pick up Escobar in the middle rounds were probably looking forward to a step forward from his breakout 2009 season.  Last year at the break he was hitting a tidy .293 / 41 r / 7 hr / 44 rbi, compared to .238 / 28 r / 0 hr / 19 rbi this year.  If I didn’t know any better, I’d think it was him, and not Bobby Cox, in his last year before retirement.  Sell

OF – Nick Markakis: 20/20, 30/30. . . who knows?   The sky’s the limit for this kid.  Remember when this guy broke out with a .300 / 97 r / 23 hr / 112 rbi / 18 sb as a 23 year old in 2007.  Since then, the power has at best leveled out and the stolen bases are basically non-existent.  Still his Greek God like name and reputation keeps him drafted in the early rounds.  Last year he came to the All-Star break hitting .291 / 53 r / 8 hr / 57 rbi, while this year it’s an uninspiring .308 / 40 r / 6 hr / 31 rbi.  Sell

OF – Adam Lind: From the highest of highs to the lowest of lows, Adam Lind has been a major surprise in consecutive fantasy seasons, one good one bad.  Last year he broke out in a big way, hitting .305 with 35 hr, including a line of .306 / 50 r / 19 hr / 59 rbi at the break.  But his owners aren’t doing the Lindy Hop this year, as he’s batting only .214 / 33 r / 12 hr / 40 rbi.  Buy

OF – Curtis Granderson: After being traded to the Yankees, fantasy owners thought he’d be hitting with the power of 1000 Andersons.  Who can blame them, considering his move from the cavernous Comerica Park to the homer happy (especially for lefties) Yankee Stadium.  It hasn’t been the case so far, with Granderson hitting .240 / 32 r / 7 hr / 24 rbi / 7 sb after coming to the break at .254 / 52 r / 18 hr / 43 rbi / 15 sb last season.  Sell

Just wait till you see me after the break

SP – Dan Haren: Haren having a bad half season is no surprise to fantasy owners, but usually it’s the 2nd half, not the first.  Right now, the former fantasy ace has a line of 7 w / 4.36 era / 1.33 whip / 125 k’s.  Not terrible but definitely nowhere close to his first half last year:  9 w / 2.01 era / 0.81 whip / 129 k’s.  Plus, he’s completely ruined your strategy of trading him for a big bat after the break.  Who knows, maybe you can talk your commissioner into allowing you to trade his pitching stats for his hitting stats, since he’s sitting at .392 with a homer and 7 rbi.  Hold

CL – Chad Qualls: Following the golden rule of not paying for saves, you were probably pretty happy about your late round pick of Chad Qualls who finally became a closer last season, after many good years as a set up guy.  Last year at the break, he had a decent line of 1 w / 16 sv / 3.62 era / 1.18 whip / 33 k’s.  This year, he’s blown up your era and whip like his knee was blown up by Jason Michaels last year, to the tune of 1 w / 12 sv / 8.60 era / 2.11 whip / 31 k.  Sell

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