In a move that could only be attributed to The Been Stew, the San Diego Padres announced that they are signing slugger Wily Mo Pena to a minor league deal.
Having not played in the majors since 2008, when he finished with a slash line of .205/.243/.267, there’s no good reason why Pena should be considered by a Major League team right now, let alone a first place team. So, the only logical reason I can think of is that new Padres GM Jed Hoyer was sick of his outfield’s lack of power, so he Googled “what to do when you’re angry about home runs.” Google put together the words “angry” and “home runs” and came up with this little article about Wily Mo Pena. Having no other ideas, Hoyer decided to give Pena a shot. He then promptly held a press conference apologizing to his fans and stating that he plans to start using Bing as his search engine of choice, to avoid being subjected to such crappy websites in the future.