After an inauspicious start to the 2001 season, someone decided to flip the power switch on Bret Boone’s season. Or squeeze the needle plunger. Whichever way you like to look at it. Here is Boone’s first correspondence following his first home run of the season courtesy of Rangers’ pitcher Kenny Rogers:
Hey sweet cheeks. Guess who serves up the most hits in Country music?!?! KENNY ROGERS! BOOOOOM! Whatevs, country music is stoopid anywaysees. More like Brooks and DUMB! LOL 😉
Enough of that though, you see that bomb tonight? That was a Texas sized slam and cheese sandwich. Extra slam! UGHHH…Might as well have been a meatball sub the way that Rogers was throwing. Or a beachball omelet or something.
Speaking of the beach, you want to take a trip to Puget Sound when I get back to Seattle on the 16th? I just bought a whole pack of pre-cutoff shirts to show off the home run cannons (arms AAAAAND stomach). I’ll be looking better than Bosworth, baby.
So excited to see you. If you notice a bomb threat on the news next week, don’t worry about it. It’s just me flying into Seattle! BOOM!
XOXO Bret Boooooms
*PS; that sound you heard while reading this was just me flexing my arms.