Derek Jeter Thinks Roy Halladay Isn’t Doing Enough To Help His Team

"Remembering teammates' birthdays? That's how you win five World Series, Halladay."

The New York Yankees have taken control of the ALDS, winning both games in Minnesota for a 2-0 lead. Mariano Rivera has nailed down both wins and Curtis Granderson is hitting .500 for the series. However, both of them immediately point out the contributions of Yanks’ captain Derek Jeter.

“Yeah, you know, I have three RBIs and a .500 average but what is that even worth? But what makes you think my timely hitting has anything to do with us winning,” Granderson continued. “Those are just tangibles. Who really counts those things, anyways?”

Jeter has thus far contributed two singles and one RBI in the ALDS to go along with a slash line of .200/.200/.200. That’s if you’re using those ancient and useless tangible stats like HR, BA, RBI and R. And on that same vein, those Sabermetrics yahoos can take a hike as well. Because in the end all that matters in the postseason is Jetermetrics.

Once again, as you could expect, Derek Jeter’s Jetermetrics are off the charts in the 2010 postseason. Jetermetrics is the ironic process of placing a tangible number to Derek Jeter’s intangible contributions. Not surprisingly, he’s posting a Jetermetric slash line of .375/.455/.540. That, my friends, is a lot of high fives, routine plays made and well-timed mound visits. And perhaps an occasional jump throw to first as he’s fielding a grounder to his right.

Jeter, an intangible supporter of Jetermetrics, had this to say:

“With the way that I am indirectly willing my team to victory, I’m not sure the Yankees can be stopped. Sure, Roy Halladay can keep pitching no-hitters and hitting RBI singles, but what is he REALLY doing to help his team? If you ask me, not enough.”

So there it is Halladay. Derek Jeter wants to see what you reallllllllly got.

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2 Responses to Derek Jeter Thinks Roy Halladay Isn’t Doing Enough To Help His Team

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