Tim Tebow Exclusive Interview. Displeased By Biography, Plans To Release Autobiography

Tim Tebow is a busy guy. Sitting on the sideline the entire game until it’s time to vulture fantasy points away from Knowshon Moreno. Yeah, I know. Total jerkface.

But what Mr. Tebow enjoys more than anything is giving exclusive interviews to marginally successful sports satire blogs. Without further adieu:

The Been Stew: “You’re collaborating with Nathan Whitaker on a personal memoir entitled “Through My Eyes,” scheduled to come out in April. Why did you decide to sit down and put your inspirational words down on paper.”

Tim Tebow: “I felt that, along with my parents and other disciples, I needed to get my story out there in my own words. I was unsatisfied with my current biography already in circulation. That’s why I’m writing my own autobiography.”

TBS: “Harper Collins is releasing the memoir. They appear confident that you have enough of a fan base to warrant a large scale release.”

TT: “I believe I currently have 2.1 billion followers world-wide.”

TBS: “2.1 billion!?! That seems a little steep, don’t you think?”

TT: “Not really. I mean, my biography is the best selling book of all time. I can only imagine that my inspiration autobiography will surpass the original. Plus, this version has tons of football and junk.”

TBS: “What biography are you referring to? I didn’t know there was one.”

TT: “Really? Well it’s just a little book called ‘The Bible’. You never read it? Man, I’ve got some shit you should read.”

TBS: “Thank you for your time Mr. Tebow. I look forward to your second novel, the New King Tebow Version.”

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