Evolution Of Michael Vick: A Been Stew Theory

It's electric! Boogie woogie woogie!

Watching the Monday Night Football game against the Redskins reminds me of middle school. Michael Vick is playing like that kid who was the first one to grow a mustache. It’s not even fair. Pretty entertaining to watch though. Unless you’re a dog lover.

But what’s different? Did Michael Vick have a cellmate that bestowed upon him the ability to read the intricacies of the Cover-2 Zone? Did he play a lot of practice games against the guards? Did he play a lot of practice games against the guards who are also pedophiles?

According to Ron Jaworski, it’s just the evolution of a player who has learned how to play the quarterback position. However, I’m not one to take my player evaluations according to Ron Jaworski.

Let the pundits say all they want about a “humbled man” remaking himself into a quality QB. I’m sure Vick is a different person because, you know, 3 years in the clink will do that to a guy. Yet, I can’t accept the idea that Vick is a better quarterback as a result of finally “getting it”.

The Been Stew has a very simple, very plausible explanation for Michael Vick’s rebirth as a legitimate starting QB; he’s not smoking hardly as much marijuana.

Perhaps the major media outlets don’t want to put it that way, but couldn’t that be it? Vick is one of the most amazing natural athletes this world has ever seen. He has a cannon for an arm and almost impossible to sack due to his scary blend of quickness and overall speed. The guy probably didn’t have to even give full effort until he made it to the NFL. I can only imagine how much effort he exuded during high school. Did he break a sweat?

Let’s put it this way. All of us know a few geniuses out there that are baked out of their mind half of the day. Yet they are still, frustratingly, most successful and intelligent than us. Just think how incredible those people could be if their brains were working at full capacity. And that’s where Michael Vick comes in.

Vick is a well documented supporter of marijuana. He filed for bankruptcy due to “financial mismanagement”. I’d wager a sizable portion of that went to buying pot. Either for himself or his leech entourage. A truck belonging to Vick was picked up in 2004 with two guys distributing marijuana out of it. In 2007, Vick had a water bottle confiscated at an airport that had a hidden compartment concealed by the label. He said it was for jewelry, but only idiots and vacation bible school kids believe that. Then, later in 2007, Vick tested positive for marijuana during a random drug test as part of that whole dog fighting thingy.

What can you say? The guy likes to get stoned. We all have friends or coworkers whose performance leaves something to be desired because they usually show up ripped out of their skull. This isn’t an after-school special, but it’s naive to think that pot doesn’t hinder your performance just a little. And for most potheads playing Madden online is the closest they’ll ever get to the NFL.  So one could imagine how difficult it would be to play QB in an NFL game while your head is a little cloudy.

Vick never had a completion percentage over 56.4% as an Atlanta Falcon. Coming into Monday night’s game he was completing 60.4% of his passes on his way to a QB rating of 105.3, by far the best of his career. He put up some gaudy rushing stats but that’s pretty easy for anyone as physically gifted as Vick; take the ball and run. Throwing the ball is a bit more complicated and my theory is that Vick could have been this good all along, as for as passing is concerned, if he had stayed away from a pot.

How many times during the Atlanta years do you think Vick was supposed to review the playbook or watch video of next Sunday’s defense but instead…got a little high? Sitting around, getting faded, playing NBA 2K5 and watching Aqua Teen reruns is a bit more fun than taking notes on Detroit’s blitz packages.

I’m not saying that Michael Vick isn’t trying harder to become a better passer. I’m not saying that he’s not spending more time honing his craft and becoming a student of the game. All I’m saying is that he’s doing those things only because he’s smoking less pot. It’s no secret that there’s an inverse relationship between motivation and THC levels.

So while we all sit on our asses, probably getting high, watching how unstoppable Michael Vick has become, just remember it could have always been like this. In an attempt to avoid additional legal trouble, maybe Vick decided to kick the habit.

Or maybe he’s just doing coke with Ron Washington now…

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One Response to Evolution Of Michael Vick: A Been Stew Theory

  1. TimL says:

    So what your saying is that we have seen the last of Ron Mexico.

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